I’ve had a lot of you asking what’s going on with this project. Right now it’s in the hands of Kickstarter‘s audience.
Originally the plan was that after the blog had been filled with my basic rules and their explanations that I would back track the process of defining them and turn it into a repeatable process that anyone could access. Then I’d rework that information into an e-book. I was also planning on adding comic strips, margin notes, supplementary info, more crash courses, and some anecdotes.
In the end I was hoping to have a resource for people who wanted to build their own rule basis for simplifying their own recurring drama pits based on their personal values and goal.
It was a lofty and unfortunately time consuming project. Life got in the way and I have yet to recover.
As such I’m taking some people’s advice and turning to Kickstarter.com to help me revise my approach. If I can get enough project backing to meet my goal or greater, I can can use that funding to treat this like a paid project instead of always having to put it off for other paid projects allowing this to become a justified priority.
I’ve estimated that to complete a full and functional resource as I originally envisioned it will take about 100 hours but for that I’d need to raise more than $1000. I can probably make something passable without all the bells and whistles in about 50 hours meaning I only about $500 to actually make something useable.
If you’re still interested in seeing this blog become something more… spread the word and back it if you can. Every set of eyes that sees the kickstarter project is another potential dollar in the pool.
So please… go to http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ShadedAreas/28-rules?ref=email and take a look at the project outline and the backer incentives and see if you’re interested enough to help. If not… no worries but spreading the word around would still be a huge step.
Thank you all for your attention as well as your support during this blogs life. :-)
-Griffin
Rule #17 : When in doubt, disrupt your routines.
Note: I’m going to spend a little more time explaining this one because it is one of the more important rules in my opinion.
Inspiration:
Thinking outside the box. This term is abused, clichéd and mis-applied constantly these days. Originally it was an expression meant to promote “lateral thinking”, which is the human ability to solve problems using creative or unusual approaches.
Application:
Now I’m gonna go a little bit sciencey for a moment. So bear with me for the next paragraph to explain human memory.
Humans have two primary memory forms: implicit memory and explicit memory. Implicit memory handles things that are carved into your muscles and behaviours based on repetition and experience while explicit memory is active information and recollection memory involving things like names, appointments, events, and so forth. That’s all for the science speak.
That repetitive memory is fantastic. It lets you think about your day while tying your shoes or commuting to work. It lets you cook diner or walk to the store while reflecting on an argument. It increases each persons multitasking ability, which is good.
Unfortunately it can also start to become way too powerful if your daily routine is very rigid. If you have the same day every day and the same week every week… things like depression, dissatisfaction, creative blockage, emotional repression, etc. can all begin to build up and interfere with you living your life. It can sneak in so slowly that you don’t even notice.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched friends slip into some sort of rigid routine and completely lose themselves, their loves, their dreams, their hopes. It’s a very easy thing to do in our current society structure. When this happens I’ll suggest they disrupt their routine and while they often agree… they tend to get lost trying to think of something to do because they’ve forgotten how to think laterally.
Luckily, once you break the routine and get the brain feeding off a little new information those processes start kicking back on pretty fast. So really… whenever you’re feeling off… disrupt your routine and try something new.
Here’s a few examples of easy, cheap and low stress disruption options:
- Contact some people who you like and haven’t seen in a while and see if they’re free for impromptu plans.
- Get out of the house and try a new restaurant, movie, cafe, etc. Alternately go to a bookstore and look for something your speed.
- Check out a newspaper or local websites for some free events of any kind and head out.
Even if the act doesn’t pay off in any significant way, creating a brand new experience will charge up some of the mental actions that fade when routine takes over.
Variations:
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” – Henry Van Dyke
“Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy.” – Henri de Lubac
“One travels to run away from routine, that dreadful routine that kills all imagination and all our capacity for enthusiasm.” – Ella Maillart
“The less routine the more life.” – Amos Bronson Alcott
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #16 : Don’t argue when you can act.
Inspiration:
Productivity.
Application:
Discussion and debate are very useful things for coming up with ideas of what to do if you’ve got absolutely no clue. However, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen someone get into a heated argument with other people as they try to figure out which of their ideas, which are all productive or valid, they should go with.
Honestly, most times if you have multiple productive ideas, there will be very little foul to doing them all. So instead of trying to make everyone think you’re right… while they’re arguing, if what you want to do won’t hurt anything, go for it. Just keep in mind there is a risk involved.
If you step out ahead of the debate and something goes wrong:
- You may potentially remove the debated options from the table.
- You’ll likely agitate the discussers.
- You could make the situation worse.
However in my observation, it’s pretty rare for the situation to be severe enough that what’s done cannot be resolved just as easily as the original problem.
Variations:
“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.” – Mark Twain
“The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his action.” – Confucius
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #15 : Avoid disrupting your surroundings.
Inspiration:
Note: After some responses and reflection… part of the reason this rule works for me is due to my mild control issues. :-) Take this rule with that knowledge.
A bull in a china shop. Myth Busters debunked the idea of this a while ago. It turns out bulls are pretty aware of their surroundings and tend not to wreck things unless they’re antagonized. They teach us something important.
Application:
When moving through nearly any situation it is more often than not in your best interest to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. I don’t mean so much as to not interact or make yourself non-existent. However, the less unnecessary attention you draw to yourself the more you can intentionally do. Drawing an audience changes the way you behave. Your ego starts to get more concerned with what they see rather than what you do.
Often times, people tend to imagine that people are watching them but more often than not this isn’t the case. Typically people are to busy on their own goings on to be worried about yours. However the second your start moving in a way that disrupts something around you, you start drawing the type of attention that only leads to escalation.
Reasons why disrupting your surroundings tends to turn a normal situation sideways:
- It stimulates a need to respond from people around you.
- Disrupting one moment or item typically leads to concurrent disruptions.
- Often, either of those effects can have unpleasant affects towards you.
Obviously this rule is situational. It isn’t meant to restrict a good time or to keep you from meeting new people. Just know that the more attention you draw from disrupting things around your out of carelessness and disregard for your environment… the more likely you are to run into problems.
Variations:
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Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #14 : Say less than you have to.
Inspiration:
This is another con artistry inspired rule. It’s tied directly to rule #13.
Application:
Rule #13 is aimed at maintaining the internal integrity of a person by synchronizing their words and actions. It’s a personal rule. This is a social, romantic and professional rule in response to that. It’s almost an amendment, if it weren’t applicable outside of rule #13.
When in near any situation, the best way to keep yourself out of harms way is to say less than you need to. This is an art. Not a skill. It’s a very fine line between saying too little and saying a little less than just enough. That art I cannot express or teach but it’s one I’ve done well at, in my opinion. It’s a very specific skill to be able to say just short of enough so your listener completes the thought without your help and, more importantly, without further question.
This skill allows you certain advantages if you can hone it. Mostly it’s best left to encourage this as a way to maintain your integrity without exposing yourself to unneeded critique or counter mind.
Saying a little less does three things very well:
- Makes people feel more connected to your words.
- Makes it more complex for them to argue against you.
- Makes the idea your presenting less about you.
This happens because they’re completing half of it in their minds. This is why it’s an art more than a skill. It is not simply about being vague and mysterious and seemingly philosophical, though they’re certainly bonuses. I truly wish I could express this more completely, but even if I could… it would be ironically in opposition to the rule to explain it entirely.
Variations:
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Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #13 : Say what you mean. Do what you say.
Inspiration:
I can’t remember where this has echoed in from. It’s been in my mind as a good idea as far back as I remember.
Application:
This is really just a generally good idea. Even those who advocate deception should heed this. I, as well as others throughout history, have noted the importance of saying things as you mean them instead of tip toeing or alluding. When being deceptive all it means is to be direct about that action. Whatever your aim is, be true to it. If you’re trying to pull a complex con on someone to rip them off, be true to that and envelope it completely.
Letting your statements and actions remain misaligned is as detrimental to one’s life as letting your mind and spirit have conflicting focuses. This is why many modern politicians end up in scandals. They’re talking in a way that contradicts the way they walking. You can only resist yourself for so long before one sides disrupts the other out of spite.
Three ways to know you’re walking what you’re talking:
- Know what you value.
- Know what you’re against.
- don’t sway from those fundamentals.
If you can do those three things, you’ve got better odds than most to stay self aligned.
Variations:
“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” – Alan K. Simpson
“I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” – Popeye
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #12 : Surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.
Inspiration:
“It’s taken me a lot of years, but I’ve come around to this: If you’re dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you’re smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.” stated by the character Isaac Jaffe on the show SPORTS NIGHT, written by Aaron Sorkin. I didn’t think they needed most of the statement. The last chunk was clearly enough for me.
Application:
It doesn’t matter how much you know or don’t know. An intelligently presented opinion that opposes your current view or understanding is more valuable than food. It allows you to learn from yourself. The challenging idea can be reviewed, compared and then either embraced or rejected. You can absorb all, part or none of it but no matter which, if you’ve honestly reviewed it then you’ve deeply learned from it.
If you accept it you’ve obviously concluded that it’s a stronger or better position than where you were. If you’ve accepted part of it then you’ve likely reinforced your original idea or accepted and strengthened the other. If you’ve rejected it then you’re original idea has now been expanded, reinforced or solidfied to a greater extent.
So to review, having smart people to disagree with:
- Allows you to be more certain of your ideas.
- Allows your to expand or build on your ideas.
- Allows you to absorb new and better ideas.
There’s really no way to lose unless you refuse to consider the ideas that others present you with.
Variations:
“Surrounding yourself with the not-so-bright does not make you look smarter.” -Anonymous
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” – Aristotle
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
Rule #11 : Play against smarter opponents whenever possible.
Inspiration:
In the 2005 movie Revolver a character, named Jake Green, exits prison now armed with knowledge of “The Perfect Con”. In his explanation of this he lists the first rule of the perfect con to be “You only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent.” I agreed and at that point I incorporated that idea into my rules. It has since been revised to the current, more aggressive incarnation.
Application:
It’s about as obvious as it seems. To increase your efficacy in any skill set it is nearly essential to absorb the experience of a superior. Tomorrow’s rule will reflect a similar concept of progression but for now we’ll focus more on the competitive.
Spending all of your time competing against those less skilled then you is the quickest way to stunt your growth in something. This could be strictly competition or it could simply be comparison. If you’re constantly comparing your work to those who produce lesser results then yours, it’s unlikely to produce much progress. I see it constantly occur withing other illustrators I meet where they base their ego on the idea that “there are people less skilled who get professional work.” This might comfort or motivate them but it does nothing to challenge them.
At all times it should be one’s aim to:
- Find inspiration to create new and greater works.
- Compare your results to those of greater skill or esteem.
- Compete in situations that force you to grow and adapt.
It’s important to note that the goal should rarely be to beat the opponent but to beat your last attempt. Personal growth is more likely to motivate you past your peers than competitive aggression is.
Variations:
“Self-improvement is the name of the game, and your primary objective is to strengthen yourself, not to destroy an opponent.” – Maxwell Maltz
“Competition helps people figure it out.” – Brian McBride
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
This crash course will focus on teaching you how to not get in your own way when meeting new people. While most people would be interested in this lesson for it’s romantic usage, please note that everything outlined here is written for use in general social interactions. It can easily be applied to flirting but don’t think it’s limited to that usage.
Rule #10 : Avoid appealing to someone’s gratitude or mercy.
Inspiration:
A science fiction writer by the name of Robert A. Heinlein. He brought us such sci-fi stories as Starship Troopers (1959), The Puppet Masters (1951) & Stranger in a Strange Land (1961). In the compilation The Notebooks of Lazarus Long the character says “Never appeal to a man’s ‘better nature.’ He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.” which led me to this revision of the idea.
Application:
Often times when trying to get help or support from those reluctant to assist there is an instinct to remind them of things you’ve done for them. If not that then appealing to their guilt or sympathy is another popular approach. It’s only natural for us, as people, to want to believe that people we’ve connected to, turn to, or depend on care about us or remember that we’ve been their for them. This is completely reasonable.
In those moments when you’re in need, however, it can be self defeating to use those approaches. Not many people like being reminded that they owe others favors and it causes them to wall off, or to lie and say they’ll help in the moment only to brush it off later. Alternately if they’re un-sympathetic to start with, trying to make them be that will only cause them to block up their feelings since not many people enjoy being made to feel guilty.
Ways to avoid these dead ends.:
- Find a reason why helping you is helpful to them.
- Offer to compensate them in some way.
- Tie it to something that is in line with their interests.
The interesting thing about this approach is by opening by appealing to their self interest you often get an exact opposite reaction. Instead of them locking down and becoming resistant to the idea because they’re trying not to feel bad, they instead become generous. Appealing to responsibility creates a response similar to that of a child who is avoiding their parents because they fear being chastised. Appealing to their self interest makes them far more likely to put aside that self interest and help for the sake of helping.
Humans are a very interesting dichotomy in this way.
Variations:
“That good disposition which boasts of being most tender is often stifled by the least urging of self-interest.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“The virtues are lost in self-interest as rivers are lost in the sea.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.” – Chanakya
Feel free to comment with your own stories, your questions and alternate versions of this rule and if notable enough I may edit this post to reflect them or, if necessary, make a future post expanding on your comments.
28 Rules 